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今天起来很晚,因为昨天没有睡很早,今天精神好很多,因为昨天睡的时候已经精疲力尽.

习惯性的开电脑,点支烟,开始新的1天.讽刺的是天已经变色了.

昨天夜里又收到无聊的短信,我选择沉默.因为知道,如果回过去,无论回什么,对方又是一阵沉默.我厌倦了这种看似暧昧不是暧昧的相处,我想明确的让那个人知道,对于女人,除了和我共同经历过什么的,除了朋友,其他,不过是种生理反映的概念,所以,不要惹我,我经不起考念.
还想说什么,又忘了.也许努力想记住的会难免失忆,想忘记的却并不是那么容易流失.过了1/3的人生,并没有什么感动的喜悦,相反总是不知所措,仔细想想,不明白是自己抛弃了什么,还是冲动违背了什么.

下午接到电话,朋友从澳大利亚回来,待5周,喜悦挂在脸上;可另1个朋友为了事业也在今天踏上了去遵义的路,还是有点,伤感多过喜悦.

我想,我是尊重朋友的,更是珍惜的.认定的朋友,任何时间里,为他们做任何事,我觉得是应该的,可他们为我做的一点点,比如提醒我少抽烟,我也忍不住感动.

于是,只能祝福,每1个朋友都必须过得比我好,我才有更多的动力让自己过得更好.

而自己,很多时候是在自寻烦恼.有人这样告诉我,有些事该发生终究要发生,该忘掉的,不要想留作纪念.感伤是暂时的,当回忆成为往昔,就没什么是无法释怀的了.曾经想写本书将自己莫名其妙的22年记录下来.因为生活中,我是不愿让朋友们了解太多的那种人,因为自己的生活过多超越同龄人的单纯,所以不想给朋友带来烦恼.我只用写日志的方式,让这儿成为一些过往唯一可以祭奠的出处.然而有些东西是可以删除的,可心脏某个位置还是刻意保留了.不明白是为了提醒自己,还是为了怀念.总之就这样留下来了,很少翻阅,又时时想起.

也许,我太过于追求某种心灵上的寄托,甚至多于女人,而现在,在还不能靠自己过活的时间里,我该更多的想想自己.

有个心理学家叫Abraham Maslow.他认为人有五种层次的需求:首先是生理上的,世界上只有男人和女人,男和女,男和男,女和女,无外乎3种可能;其次是安全需求,包括心理和物质上的,所谓饱暖才思淫欲,我倒觉得这个应该排在第1位;第三是社交需求,人类是群居的个体动物,需要内在和外在的归属感,人际间需要彼此理解,互助和赞许;第四是尊重,指要求受到别人尊重和自己的自尊心;第五是自我实现需求,每个人都有对生活的期望,这是我迫切需要实现的.

曾几何时,用一种搜寻的姿态寻找生活中每1个缝隙,总希望有1个机会,被我抓住了,理想就真正照进了现实.也许这只能是一个永远的期许,无奈中却有向前的冲动.当回首往事时,不会因空落而再次迷失,仿佛真切的感受到什么.于是,用自己的方法留下生命的点滴.想想,做人确实太难,所要承受的,不止是自己,更多时候,是为家人,朋友,未来的妻子,还不知是男是女的孩子.

这个时候,我试图寻求各种打发复杂心绪的出路,通常的方法是把自己搞的非常疲惫才入睡,慢慢的,憔悴了,迷失了,堕落了,而某些不值得缅怀的东西停在身上,挥之不去.久而久之,麻木了.断断续续的语言,也许明天醒来,我自己也不清楚这到底在写什么,可这些,又实实在在左右着我的生活.不会有一个完整的故事,更不会有一个清晰的主角.看的人不一定明白,也不会有遐想.因为只是一些片段的集合,零星没有意义.

最后,在今天,祝新认识的1位朋友生日快乐.

...

转折得有点突然,还是想说1句.

今年,太多事发生,我没有时间谈论国家,没有对象讨论民族,只希望在藏独中,在地震中死去的人们能在天堂安息.

June 25 11:00 PM | Blog it

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	katrisawrote: 感觉你好久没上了~ Sept. 4
	Toya Fangwrote: 中国这次可是领先了很多咧~ 很厉害啊。。唯一可喜的是刘翔~ == 希望下次他能出场时更轰动表现更好~ Aug. 22
	﹏RickY ⒎wrote: 你突然这么一说搞得我有点晕.. 你要干吗去啊? 做什么生意么还是? Aug. 21
	剋星撞地球. .wrote: 恩.. 至少有个让我觉得温暖的人。我也深深的站在你这一边。 Aug. 21
	Valyn Limwrote: 是哦~ 嗯~那个香水是很不错啦~ Aug. 19
	琳子-很坚强。wrote: 死人！！！！！！！！！！！！！稳的帮牢！！！！ Aug. 17
	ΜīnnīL.Ｃ .wrote: 开幕式看了啊。。。真的是超级棒。。。。中国得艺术值得感叹。。。哈哈。。。中国32枚金牌了。。。loooool....、开心ing..... Aug. 17
	Cαtღ MiSs.wrote: 等到10月出 9月底了呵呵 Aug. 17
	剋星撞地球. .wrote: 你还记不记得我写过一句话。想起那些遥不可及的事情，突然觉得好悲伤好悲伤。如果你记得的和这句不一样就算了。我觉得这个世界，就是比谁更贱。他还是不知廉耻的继续在用。我去和他说了，他说本来就无话可说，不是吗? 我真的心里的那口气.. 啊啊啊啊 Aug. 17
	katrisawrote: 哈哈每天忙點過的充實我還好呀哈哈~明天出去旅遊啦~ Aug. 15
	来人wrote: 嗯，做事要认真，当然也要多考虑相信你会做得很好看来你要忙了。。。我去成都的事要推后了没办法的说北京现在就是比赛比赛。。。。都是这个不过那天去现场看了比赛，还是感觉挺好的 Aug. 15
	﹏RickY ⒎wrote: 嗯我在加拿大了不过照片都是国内啊一个北京一个青岛嘿嘿实话说这边的奥运气氛. 真TM弱... Aug. 15
	vive Dwrote: 哦那你找到工作了？ Aug. 14
	vive Dwrote: 其实还好吧就是出去散散心回来心情也好很多你去遵义干吗？ Aug. 14
	Cαtღ MiSs.wrote: ``````````XqqqKI_````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````_IKqqqX`````` `````````KqqdqdqqqE_````````````````````````````````````````````````````FHqqqqqqqqqqK``` ````````NqqqqqqqqqqqqqX_`````````````````__i__TT____`````````````````FNqqqqqqqqqqqqqqi``` ```````dqqqqqHBBqqqqqqqqqX````````iYHqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqBFi``````_BqqqqqqqNA___KqqqdE``` ```````NqqqN______iRqqqqqqqqi`IqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqTYqqqqqqqBT_______HqqqN````` ```````NdqqI__________HqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqB__________RqqqR``` ```````NqqqI____________Fqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqc____________qqqqB```` ```````_qqqd___________cqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqA__________Fqqqq_`` ````````Nqqqc_________qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqY________BqqqH``` ````````Iqqqq_______Xqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqd______Xqqqq_`` `````````dqqqd_____NqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqI____qqqdK``` `````````_qqqqh___BqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqF__qqqqq``` ` ``````````cqqqqF_KqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqYNqqqqX``` ```````````dqqqqNqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqH``` ```````````_qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq``` ````````````iqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq_``` `````````````iqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqB``` `````````````Xqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq_`` `````````````qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqdc``` ````````````Xqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqdddqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq``` ````````````KqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqdBFYXdqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqEXYBdqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqT` ````````````Nqqqqqqqqqqqdq``````````BqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqB```````````NqqqqqqqqqqqK ````````````qqqqqqqqqqqqT`````````````qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq``````````````cqqqqqqqqqqK` ````````````qqqqqqqqqqqi`````````iKRB``qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq_``BRKi`````````NqqqqqqqqqK`` ````````````qqqqqqqqqqB````````Tqqqqq``AqqqqqqqqqqqqqqB`EqqqqqK`````````qqqqqqqqqK` ` ```iiqqqqqqXKqqqqqqqqqqF````````dqqqqqB`FqqqqqqqqqqqqqqE`qqqqqqd`````````qqqqqqqqq_FkqqqqiFEcciii``` ````qqqqqqqNKqqqqqqqqqF````````qqqqqqB`cqqqqqqqqqqqqqqd`EqqqqqR````````_qqqqqqqqqBBqqqBEci`` _HNqqqqqqqqBMqqqqqqqqqd````````iqqqqN``ddqqqqqqqqqqqqqq_`TENHF`````````dqqqqqqqqNFTpppppiFXhNB` ` __```````````BqqqqqqqqqK``````````````cqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq``````````````Bqqqqqqqqq```` ` ``````````````qqqqqqqqqqH````````````IqqqqqqqNcRhqqqqqqqdX``````````Fqqqqqqqqqq_``` ` ``````````````_qqqqqqqqqqdNi``````_XqqqqqqqqAccccAqqqqqqqqdqYi__iFNqqqqqqqqqqqB````` ```````````````IqqqqqqqqqqqqdqqqqqqqqqqqqqqdcccccXqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqB``` ````````````````RqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqNcABRdqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqA ```````````````Fdqdqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq_YqqdY` ````````````INqqN_`YqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqT`````FqqqHI ````````_BqqNE_``````_dqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqdqN_``````````_RqqqdH` `````NqqqK_`````````````FhqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqE```````````````````iF`` ```````````````````````````_cqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqddqHi`````` ``````````````````````````````````TBNqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqdNH_```` ``````````````````````````````````HdTiiiccRREhhEKEcYFiiTTBqq_```````` `````````````````````````````````qqqqqXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTYqqqqqqB`` ```` `````````````````````````````````TqqqqqqqqqqqhRRRRRRhqqqqqqqqqqqq_` ``````````````````````````````XqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqNqqqi`` `````````````````````````````TqqqYddqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqBRqqqA```````````````dqh` `````````````````````````````qqqq`qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqdTqqqqB`````````````qqqd` ````````````````````````````dqqqq_qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqidqqqqY```````````dqqqT`` ```````````````````````````Bqqqqq`qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq`NqqqqN``````````BqqqK` ``````````````````````````iqqqqqq_qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq`qqqqqq`````````NqqqK`` ``````````````````````````iqqqqqqKRqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqRFqqqqqq````````dqqdF` ```````````````````````````qqqqqqq_qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqIdqqqqqT``````iqqqq```` ````````````````````````````IdqqdF`FdqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqE_ii_``````iqqqdh```` ````````````````````````````````````AqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqAF__iIKqqqqqF`` ````````````````````````````````````TqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqdK`FdqqqqqqqqqqqdT ````````````````````````````````````Yqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq`````_XNdNhT```` ````````````````````````````````````qqqqqqqqqqqIKqqqqqqqqqqd`` ```````````````````````````````````BdqqqqqqqqqqEKqqqqqqqqqqqK` ```````````````````````````````````qqqqqqqqqqqqBHqqqqqqqqqqqd ```````````````````````````````````NqqqqqqqqqqqiHqqqqqqqqqqdd``` ^^ wo來了！最近好吗 Aug. 11
	琳子-很坚强。wrote: 加我Q 17128750 Aug. 11
	ΜīnnīL.Ｃ .wrote: 开幕式看了吗？？？ 55555555.。。我没的看。。。。下班回家看了。。哎呀 Aug. 9
	Valyn Limwrote: 祝福你快点蜕变哦~ 嗯~通常买这里牌子的mm都是因为她的包装而买的~ 有些是喜欢收藏她的系列~。。我没用过她的东西也~，除了这个以外。。所以不知道好不好用唷~ Aug. 6
	峰峰丁wrote: 最然写的朴素，但是感觉好爱国，很真实 Aug. 6
	vive Dwrote: 我出去玩了一趟还不错 Aug. 6

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